Prologue: Crown

"Go speak to her nigga."

Honor tried nudging me forward with his shoulder, but my feet were grounded. Nothing was gon' make me hike my slightly sagged jeans to their proper place on my waist and approach baby girl across the street. She flashed a coy smile, stealing a piece of my heart every time our eyes connected. Shawty was fire, tall and slender with itty bitty curves like she played volleyball all summer and ran track in the winter, skin the color of toffee, warm and golden like the sun dropped from the sky to kiss her skin personally. Jet black hair swept her shoulders each time she turned in my direction. Our eyes met, hers the color of Biscoff cookies. Wide and untainted, they held a nigga hostage long enough to catch the simper parting her thick, glossed lips. I winked. She blushed. The two of us might’ve been match made in muthafuckin' heaven. I chuckled inwardly at the thought and the fact I've never experienced no shit like this.

This must be some love at first sight type shit.

Most days, when Honor, Wolfe, and I hit the block, we post up outside the corner store, which is a few blocks from Gravehart Homes. As small-time hustlers, we had to figure out how to cast a wider net and get to the fucking money. This bodega was key. The system we set up with Ock, who owned the store, was simple. Anyone who wanted to cop paid us first, then went inside to get what they paid for. Sales were easy as fuck to make. The weather broke for 'bout three weeks, those thick ass coats got hung up the fuck, and the streets came alive. Money was fucking booming, but spring wasn't the only addition to the block. Shawty across the street appeared, never saying much or coming over to the store. She chilled on the steps of her building with another chick known around the hood as Boppy.

Word was shawty gave that sloppy top to any nigga who threw a few dollars her way. I never fucked with her. I couldn't have my seed intermingling with the next nigga's nut. Any bitch I dicked down was mine in all aspects of the word. I couldn't lie. Ole girl fuckin' with Boppy almost had me writing her pretty ass off. That birds of a feather shit wasn't a saying for no reason. The more I watched her, though, the clearer it was that she wasn't on the same type of timing as her friend. Boppy stayed in a nigga's face, but shawty kept it calm, always staying on her steps and dismissing all niggas who tried to approach.

"Staring won't get you what you want. Go see 'bout her nigga." Honor nudged again.

"Shit, I just might." Licking my lips, I caught her gaze. That same shy-ass simper had her eyes dipping low.

"Nah, nigga go. I'm not gon' be out here with you while you eye fuckin' that girl for another week. Go speak or let it go."

"Ight, but what you 'bout to do?"

"Make a move right quick with Navy. I'll be back."

We hit the GD salute before going our separate ways. Hiking my jeans up, I swaggered across the street, eyes deadlocked on the prettiest girl I've seen thus far.

"Nigga move!"

Before I made it to the steps, Boppy was in my face, hip poked out, and lips pursed together like her ass smelled the dried nut on her upper lip.

"Move." I gently moved her to the side.

"What do you want over here, Crown?" She snaked the fuck out of her neck and slid back in front of me.

My jaw flexed. I didn't fuck with attitudes from hoes. The back-and-forth, arguing bullshit wasn't me. I liked for issues to be addressed in a peaceful manner.

"Chill moving your neck 'fore that bitch snaps. I didn't come over here for you, anyway."

"Then why are you here?"

I glanced down at this annoying ass cum rag, then glanced back to the shawty gazing at me. Damn. The distance that kept us apart over the last few weeks hadn't done her beauty justice. Across the street, her beauty spoke volumes, but up close, it was deafening.

"Her," I finally answered, grinning hard as fuck.

"She doesn't fuck with niggas like you but..." Her chalky ass tongue swiped across her paper-thin lips, making a nigga cringe. "I don't mind putting truth to rumors."

"Man, you still got nut on your tongue. Abort the last nigga's babies before tryna bring mine to the playground.”

"Hmph!" She glowered, stomping up the steps and into the building.

I stepped forward, watching how shawty's eyes dragged along my frame before she brought 'em back to mine.

"That was rude, don't you think?"

"Nah!" I chided. "That was me being nice. Rude is me putting my Glock to her dome for disrespectin' a nigga."

"How did she disrespect you?" Her brows drew inward as her eyes fell into tight slits like she just knew I was about to game her.

"I came across the street for one reason, and her ass offered to suck my dick. I don't know where you're from, but asking to suck a nigga's dick in front of his future is disrespectful as fuck."

Her brow arched, and her lips parted slightly, stalling time. Flickering her gaze toward the ground, she brought it back to me, giggling.

"I mean, that's a little forward, don't you think?"

"Maybe." I shrugged. "Wassup?"

"You tell me since you walked over here."

"Honestly, I came over here not really knowing what to say but knew I had to say something," I chuckled, realizing just how fucking lame I sounded.

"Then why come at all?"

"You're worth the trip."

"Smooth." She giggled. "Real smooth. I bet it works with all the girls."

"Wouldn't know." I shrugged, scratching against my curls. "Never said no corny shit like that before."

"It's not corny. I'm Emily."

"Everyone calls me Crown, but you can call me Cortez."

"Crown, huh? Where did that come from?"

"It's some my mom used to call me. She tucked me in at night and spoke greatness over my life."

"Oh yeah? What greatness did she speak of?"

I rubbed my hand against my jaw. Not 'cause a nigga was lying, but it'd been a minute since I spoke about my mom with anyone.

"You don't have to if—"

"You carry the strength of generations in your veins. Their greatness is yours. Their mistakes are your lessons. Keep your heart pure and your mind free. Stand tall, rise above, and all things will be yours. The crown doesn't have to be visible to know that your spirit is kingly."

"Wow, she has a way with words."

"Had," I corrected.

"Oh." That pretty ass smile of hers fell from her lips, taking my heart along with it.

"I've dealt with it. I'm cool. No need for the somber look. I'd rather see you smile."

It took a second, but the corners of her mouth eventually curved, and my heart rose.

"Well, Cortez. If everyone calls you Crown, I'll do the same. I don't think I'm special enough to—"

"Fuck out of here. You're not ordinary, so what does that make you, Emily, if not special?"

Her lashes fluttered, lowering her gaze. I smirked 'cause if she felt what I did, then I understood the need for her to look away. Reaching out, I pinched her chin, slowly bringing her attention back to me.

"Emily," I spoke softly yet sternly.

"Cortez," she croaked.

"Let that be the last time I hear you say some disrespectful shit about yourself."

"But you don't know me. How can a stranger be special?"

Taking Emily's hand into mine, I brought it to my chest. Her nails raked against my hoodie, trying to escape from what I needed her to feel.

"Nah, don't run."

Covering her hand with mine, I applied pressure, making sure she felt how fast and heavy my heart knocked for her.

"Why... why is your... are you okay? Should I call 911?" Worry glossed her eyes, causing me to smirk.

"Strangers or lovers in a past life. I know you're special because of what you do to me."

"Please stop." A warmth bloomed against her cheeks.

"Why, when you—"

"Oh my god, Crown, get down!"

Her frightened scream and the buck of her eyes slowed time. Turning around, I knocked Emily to the ground in time to see a masked nigga hanging out a car window with a fucking semi-automatic in hand. I reached for my gun, but it was too late. Shots fired vibrated through the air as I dove on top of Emily. I got off a few shots but was sure they didn't hit shit.

"Ah fuck!" Bullets ripped through my clothes, sending a shockwave of heat and pain through my fucking body

"Crown!"

"Stay the fuck down!"

Closing my eyes, I sent one up to the big homie asking him to see me through this shit. Tires screeching sent my head up quick. The niggas were gone, but the pain was still fucking existent.

"Fuck my shoulder!" Gritting my teeth, I moved off Emily.

"Crown, you need—"

"Aye, fuck I tell you 'bout that shit?" A nigga was drowning in pain, and the world seemed to tilt slipping in and out of focus.

"Huh, what are you—"

"Cortez," I forced out as the fog set in. I was fighting to keep my eyes open, but shit seemed easier when I closed them.

"Really! You're fucking bleeding, and you're worried about what name I'm calling you?" Emily sniped, frowning.

Even pissed, she still looked good. I couldn't tell if it was the sexy scowl or the fact a nigga was probably gon' bleed out on this fucking stoop, but my heart was going crazy.

"Crown!" The heavy footsteps didn't compare to the bravado of my muthafuckin' brother.

"The fuck happened?" Honor gritted toward Emily.

"Chill. She saved a nigga's life."

"We gotta get you to—"

"Cortez!" Navy's frightened shrill fucked me up.

"Nah, don't do that, Navy. A nigga is still... still... aliv—"

My words slurred. That tilt turned into full-blown spinning, blurring my vision into red and black streaks.

"Aye, y'all hear that shit?" My pulse thundered in my chest. I just knew they had to hear it with how loud it was fucking knocking.

"We have to get him out of here now, Honor!"

"Ight, Navy."

"The fuck happened?"

My nigga, Wolfe. Smirking, I was happy to see the youngest nigga in charge.

"Grab his left side and help me get him into my truck."

"Ahh shit, nigga, be easy!" I barked.

My left shoulder felt shattered, and the pieces were heavy as fuck. Feeling my body lift from the ground, I groaned in pain. My head dangled as those red and black streaks began to blend together.

***

Waking up to bright ass lights, faint beeps buzzing, and excruciating pain shooting from my left side wasn't how I saw my first encounter with the future Mrs. Gravehart. At the least, I figured I'd get her number, wait a few days, then hit her up for a date or some shit. Instead, a nigga was laid up, eager to get those good drugs to help with the fucking pain. Still, I didn't see myself playing shit differently if I got a do-over. Divine timing was a thing, and when shit happened, it was for a reason. My moms was into all that affirmation, higher power, situations are signs type shit. Either some of it rubbed off on me, or I was holding on to her beliefs to stay connected to her. Whatever the reason, today played out how it was 'posed to, and I was gon' trust the reasoning to find me when the time was right.

"Aye, this nigga is awake," Wolfe called out behind him as he walked into my room. Hearing his voice before anyone else was fitting. Honor and I had the same three-year age difference as Wolfe and me, but I saw Honor as my equal. In another lifetime, that nigga might've been my twin forreal. Wolfe was the younger brother I never knew I wanted in life. If niggas would've taken me out, it was Wolfe I'd watch out for in the afterlife. He'll take my death the hardest. The three of us had been abandoned in one way or another, but how Wolfe's mom did him was dirty. He's the youngest, but his heart is triple the size of Honor's and mine. Without a doubt, he'd step in front of a bullet for us, walk into the fire, sit down, and do the time for us. Wolfe didn't fuck 'round 'bout us, and I was coming the same behind my lil' nigga.

"Crown—"

I waved his ass off 'cause I wasn't trying to hear whatever pity bullshit he was 'bout to give me. Worry and relief masked his usual stoic demeanor, pissing me off even more.

"Man, don't come over here with that I thought you were dead energy."

"That's what we fucking thought, nigga," he barked. "Fuck happened?"

I did my best to shrug 'cause, honestly, I didn't know.

"One minute, I was talking to shawty, and then she screamed for me to get down. I let off a few shots as I fell on top of her and took a few."

Wolfe played with his baby-ass beard while in deep thought 'bout this shit.

"You think niggas mad we took their spot?" he tossed out.

Licking my dry ass lips, I thought about the possibility. Before we took over the corner store, a nigga named Dre, who lived in the pj's around the corner, used to send his lil' niggas over there to make plays. Dre wasn't the type of nigga to have forethought. He was letting a premium operation slip between his fucking fingers. Honor saw the potential, and we took that shit. That winter was a cold one. We heated shit up, dropping bodies left and fucking right. Shit got so active the city forced the owner to shut down until things cooled off. Money was lost on both sides, forcing Honor and Dre to have a sit-down. Dre, having more casualties than us, gave us the upper hand and the property. Dre gave up the corner store, and we agreed to keep our business strictly at the store.

"Nah, we handled that. Why Dre gon' come gunning for us now?"

The question wasn't for Wolfe, but shit, if he had an answer, then the floor was his.

"Shit, if I know, but whoever tried you gon'—"

The hospital room door opened, and Honor and Navy walked in.

"Come on, Navy. Fix your face, or you gotta get out. I'm good." Like Wolfe, Navy's face was full of emotion that I couldn't stand to see.

"I told her to wash her face 'fore coming in here." Honor chuckled.

"Shut up!" Navy slapped Honor's chest and then came over to the bed to give me a quick hug. The hug was one-sided as fuck, with me not being able to move without causing pain to my left side.

"Never scare us like that again." Wagging her finger in my face, Navy really thought she was someone's momma.

"I don't plan to."

"The doctor said you're going to need physical therapy to help you gain full movement in your shoulder."

"That's cool. Did they say anything 'bout this pain?"

"Yeah, but um, I wanna talk to you 'bout that shit first."

Honor and I held each other's stare, having a silent conversation.

"Man, I'm not even on that shit like that."

"You used to be, and I want to make sure shit doesn't spiral out of control again."

"Honor, if Crown needs medication, then—"

"Navy," Honor gritted, shutting her up.

"Chill on, Navy nigga," Wolfe spat toward Honor.

"Move with yo' high school crush having ass," Honor playfully pushed Wolfe, but I caught the sting Honor's words caused.

"I'ma speak to the doctor to see what you can have."

"Nigga, I just said—"

"I'm doing this for you. While I'm speaking to the doctor, ole girl you was caking with is gon' come in. See if you can find out who the fuck hit you up."

"How she gon' know? Dre still might be mad 'bout us taking the corner store."

"It wasn't him. While you were in surgery, I met up with dude. He moved his whole operation. His people weren't over there when it happened."

"That's convenient as fuck, don't you think?"

"Shit, maybe, but I did my due diligence with Dre. Do yours with ole girl."

Honor nodded as I sucked my teeth. Navy gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, and Wolfe hit me with the GD salute. I attempted to hit that shit back but winced in pain when I went to salute my young nigga. Wolfe laughed it off, but it did nothing to mask the hurt in his eyes.

"Hey," Emily nervously sang out.

I watched her every move as she came into the room. Nothing about her seemed off, other than her still being covered in my blood. The sight was a sore one. I winced, wishing she'd changed her clothes 'fore coming to see me.

"What you doing here?" I roughly asked.

"Oh... I... um... I wan... wanted to see if you were... uh okay." Emily's voice changed levels with each word she spoke, but her eyes stayed glued to mine.

I didn't know how to read her, but in my heart, I believed she wasn't the cause of this shit. "My brother thinks you set me up."

Her brows crinkled at my accusation, probably trying to figure out if I was joking or not. After a few seconds of silence, her brows shot upward in shock. Her lips bare of gloss parted, but her jaw clenched once the realization set in.

"Are you serious?"

"I'm not in the business of saying shit I'm unserious about."

"Wow! Here I am, scared out of my mind, thinking you might've died, and the first thing you ask is what you doing here, like me being here repulses you. Do I repulse you, Crown?"

"Em—"

"No, you had your chance to speak. You don't ask if I'm okay but tell me your brother thinks I set you up when I don't even fucking know you. Tell me how I'ma set up a nigga who walked across the street to speak to me? You didn't see me touch my phone once, so tell me how I set you up?" Emotions I couldn't read laced her voice.

"Man, listen—"

"No, you listen because I didn't ask for this, but since you think I fucked you over, let me get outta here." She turned to leave, and my pulse raced.

"Emily." Her hand grabbed the door handle, and my stomach churned.

"Emily!" I barked, irritating my dry ass throat. I coughed uncontrollably, jerking my body forward fucking my shoulder up even more.

"Ah, shit!"

"Cortez!" Emily wailed, rushing over to pat my back with her small hands. The pats didn't do much to soothe my cough, but it settled my pulse.

"You have to lie back and be careful with how you move your arm while it's in the sling."

"My bad, ight." She fluffed a few of my pillows and helped me to lie back.

"I'll call a nurse for you."

Catching her hand before she moved, I tugged gently, folding my fingers between hers.

"I don't want a fucking nurse."

"You need one Crown."

"What I tell you 'bout that shit? A nigga risked his life to save yours, and you gon' keep disrespecting me?" I was hoping the latter of what I said caused her to smile. I was tired of muthafuckas looking at me like a nigga didn't make it out this shit alive.

"Why would you joke about that? You could have died, Cortez!" Her jaw clenched before she realized she was letting her emotions get the best of her.

"I'm not dead, tho'. I don't need those I care for acting remorseful and shit."

"You care about me?"

"Some like that."

"Yeah, okay, tell me anything," She giggled softly. "You literally accused me of setting you up less than ten minutes ago."

"I said my brother thinks you set me up."

"What do you think?"

Emily nervously had her bottom lip folded between her teeth. I smirked. I didn't think there was a single face she could muster that I wouldn't find cute.

"I think I wanna get to know you. For that to happen, I need you to answer a few questions honestly."

"Okay."

I paused to see what the silence did to Emily. Silence always spoke louder than words, but when guilt hung in the air, the truth was inevitable. People loved overlooking quiet moments, but not me. I'd lost too much in life by doing that shit. Now, I let silence suffocate those I needed answers from. I waited for their words to falter, their eyes to shift, or for the discomfort to eat away at their mind. Silence never lied.

Emily stood tall, her pretty eyes gazing into mine. I searched her face for an omission of truth, but I found none. Dipping my gaze lower, I watched the pattern of her chest. It wasn't too fast or too slow. It was perfect.

"Could Boppy be the one who set me up? She went inside the building and never came back out."

"I don't think so. I mean, what reason does she have to set you up?"

"I don't know, maybe a nigga who she's fucking put her up to it," I tossed out.

"Alexis doesn't really fuck with anyone exclusively. Not since Dre stopped fucking with her after she got an abortion."

"Dre from the pj's over there?"

"Yeah. They messed around for a while."

"Can you go get my brother?"

"Uh yeah, but um, is Alexis going to be okay?"

"I'ma be honest with you, you'll probably never see Alexis again. You cool with that?"

Emily's brows hiked as her chest slowly caved in, then expanded after a heavy sigh fled her lips.

"If Alexis did this, then I get it. She could have killed us both."

Again, I let silence fill the space between us. My heart ached in fear that I'd find the subtlest hint of guilt. High and low, I searched for something that made Emily untrustworthy, yet the same calm, sorrowful demeanor she walked in with was still present.

"Ight. Go get Honor," I dryly stated.

"Okay."

Turning for the door, Emily walked over and yanked it open. Peering over her shoulder, she asked, "What about us?"

"I still wanna get to know you." I winked.

She simpered, deepening the colors in her cheeks. The door closed, and my eyes closed with it.

It's not your time.

The voice was whispery and sweet. I smiled, knowing exactly who it belonged to.

I love you, Ma.

Opening my eyes, I used my right hand to make the sign of the cross, kissed my fingers, and then silently prayed for strength and decrement.